Things are going well. I’m taking 11 U Biology and 11 U English. Enjoying both, and scoring high marks in both. Exciting times. :) Busy times, though. Being an introvert means I’m having to spent ample time recovering from being around people all day. Coming home to three teen age boys is a special treat of the highest order. There aren’t enough hours in a day to get my need for solitude met, so I’m feeling depleted, but I know this will be worth it in the end.
I don’t know how long it will take me before I’m ready to apply to university. My best guess is a year and a half, maybe two years. Which means I’m looking at six years or so before I have a BA. And then another two for an MA, MSW or MFA, depending on the direction I actually settle on.
That’s a long time. Eight years. My gods. I’ll be 48 by the time I’m ready to enter the workforce.
Then again, if I don’t do this, I’ll turn 48 in eight years anyway, and I won’t be any closer to doing the things I actually want to do.
Not a lot happening, besides school. I’m knitting, reading the novel I’ve been assigned for Independent Study Unit in English, trying to track down a couple of movies I need for the same, and generally enjoying the thought of a week off. Spring Break! Woo!
I’ll probably be doing some pysanky this coming week in preparation for Ostara, and a bit of spring cleaning, too. Nothing amazing planned for the break except lots of time alone, which I desperately need.
I’m hoping to take a camera jaunt tomorrow to Elora Gorge, which means there will be pictures!
I got all registered today. In consult with guidance, I opted to skip grade 10 altogether except for the university math stream, which will require me to start with 10 U math, which I’m taking next semester. This semester, I’m taking English 11 U, and Biology 11 U. I’m nervous, but I’m pretty sure I can handle it…
Hmmm….okay. I’m not sure I can handle it. I’m sure I’m smart enough to handle the courses themselves, yes, but the social aspect (being around people all day), and the time management aspect (school + homework + studying + parenting + + podcasting + life? omg!), not to mention the pattern my Elder Kid has of losing his shit now and then and derailing my life in the process…
Yeah, I’m a fraidy cat at the moment.
I’ll have a better sense of things tomorrow after doing my first day.
The really good news is that I got to buy some school supplies today. Nice new pens, and a couple of notebooks. Mmmm. School supplies.
Spent two hours scrubbing down the kitchen & tidying the diningroom. Felt worlds better, though I’m not a hundred percent, to be sure. Probably because I didn’t eat a thing today until five thirty – d’oh. Getting up late fracks my entire day. Note to self: do not do that anymore.
I am working on this this evening, only I’ll be adding a few repeats to create a much larger shawl out of it. I like shawls that cover my behind – not because I’m hiding it but because anything shorter feels ‘cheap’ to me, as though I’ve cheated myself out of a bona-fide real shawl. I know. I’m strange.
I’m knitting the shawl in superwash sock yarn on number 5 needles, so it will be cosy and perfect for chilly evenings out camping. What kind of woman knits rather elaborate lace shawls to go camping in? This kind. What can I tell you? I really am strange!
Sometimes I wake up feeling melancholy for no reason at all. I suspect it’s related to high stress followed by low stress. When the low stress hits, I can feel what I feel over the high stress stuff in relative peace and safety. Whatever the reason, it sucks. I have a case of the “I DON’T WANNAS’, where the thought of everything I could or should be doing is met with a high pitched whine. I don’t wanna do the dishes. I don’t wanna work on the Luna Moth shawl. I don’t wanna try my hand at knitting a hat. I don’t wanna read The Writer’s Journey or The Hero With A Thousand Faces or Women Who Run With The Wolves (the three books I’m ploughing through at the moment). I don’t wanna mindlessly surf the Interwebs. I don’t wanna clean the bedroom. I don’t wanna do laundry and I don’t wanna go for a walk.
::Blows Raspberries and Scowls Mightily::
It’ll pass. There are things I have to absolutely get done today, and I will get to them shortly. A walk is a must, I think, since half my melancholy is cabin fever related. We’ve had a cold snap and I’ve been hibernating since Sunday afternoon.
I signed up for SparkPeople yesterday after a month of trying out the Best Life website, and then canceling my membership. A comparison between the two proved that the free SparkPeople offered everything the expensive Best Life community offered, and then some. So, frack the extra expense!
SparkPeople lets me blog, track foods & exercise, and connect with people who are in the same boat as I am. Knitters, Canadians, women of a certain age, all are to be found there. I’m happy with my choice, and with my goal, which is to lose 46 pounds by January 2010.
If you’re on Spark, and you want to connect, here’s my SparkPage.
STATS:
Current Weight – 210 lbs
Bust – 45
Ribcage (Bra band) – 37
Waist – 38
Hips – 45
Thigh – 26.5
Upper Arm – 14
I’m bundled up in yoga pants and an enormous boyfriend sweater (and it really is my boyfriend’s sweater!), handknit socks (not matching, of course), and a wrap. It’s damned cold today. I had planned to tromp down to St. Louis to register for the upcoming semester (begins March 9th) but opted to stay home with hot coffee and blogs instead. Tonight, I’ll go in the toasty car since registration is open between 5 and 8.
Yesterday (Sunday!) we went camera jaunting in Elora for a very brief while. The cold made for a very brisk and business like twenty minutes of clicking shutters before we headed back to the car. Bracing wind, rosy cheeks, fresh air. Darklin’s eyes sparkled all the way home, and it did my heart so much good to see him so relaxed and happy.
The Fruits of Our Jaunting
Feeling just like this. A little frozen around the edges, but moving, moving. Slowly coming to life after long winter. A bend in the river, just in sight. Reaching. The light is just there, across the way.
Just beneath the surface, a river runs beneath the ice. The earth is coming awake and so am I.
Odd, but beautiful.
I’ve been bopping all over the Internet under various guises, trying to find a niche and a place to settle. I’m a bit of a twee girl over many things – knitting, photography, spinning, writing, paganism…I find it difficult to stick to one topic because there are so many topics I enjoy, and I have a pattern of moving from one to the next and back again over time.
So, this place is good for that. I can just stick everything here and consider it my hub, my catch-all, the bowl I toss my keys, gloves, and hours in.
Many things happening. Many things to write about.
~Parenting an adult child who seems bad to the bone – stealing, lying, dropping out, getting high, provocative and remorseless, parasitic and difficult to like.
~Feeling wobbly on my spiritual path. Not sure about trad Wicca. Sure about druidry. Not sure about breaking out of my solitary ways. Sure that I derive much from introspection and solitary work.
~Going back to school. Again.
~Being open and honest about my sexuality. Having a girlfriend and a husband. Liking it, but feeling weird about it, like I have no right to have a cup that runneth over.
~Healing from a back injury and confronting the ways I don’t take care of myself.
~Mucking about in my unconscious material and leaving myself raw, vulnerable, and not very well supportive.
~Wanting therapy. Feeling like I need it. Making some movement toward getting it.
~Confronting anger. Feeling it powerfully. Learning how to let it fuel my choices in a healthy way.
~Really loving my ex a lot and wishing he lived next door. Feeling so happy to have him in my life.
~Really loving my spousal unit a lot and feeling grateful that he groks me.
~Wishing I were writing.
~Loving photography. Loving Photoshop. Loving camera jaunts.
~Buying roving and spinning it up. Feeling intensely about this. Feeling like this is a form of ancestor worship, and loving that.
~Feeling lonely. Really lonely.
~Feeling socially retarded.
~Choosing a career path and moving toward it. Being totally unsure if I can do it, and trying anyway.
I’m on a growing edge, and while this is scary as hell, it’s also exciting as hell.
Just needed to write it all down in point form, wrap my head around it, and move on with the doing part of living.
I’m at loose ends today. I wanted to go out, but it’s miserable out there, and I’m feeling very creaky. Also, a blister on my right foot is all cracked and oozing, so walking anywhere is not an option.
I think I might want to curl up with some knitting today and pretend the view outside my window is a bad dream I’ve having that I’ll wake up from any moment! Like, when the sun comes out!
-
Recent Comments
pastelmoon on Many Things Lauren Danielle on Feeling Sparky bowlofhours on Self Portrait iheartfilm on Self Portrait colleen on Photoshop Elements
-
Flickr Photos
More Photos
